Hey ya’ll! Happy Saturday! I know ya’ll are thinking- Raven NEVER posts on Saturday. This is true. BUT, I promise that I will always be obedient and post when I feel led to as well.
Today, I wanted to talk about resting while waiting. The wait can be one of the most nerve-wracking, anxiety building, stressful times in life. And I don’t just mean the wait to get a positive pregnancy test. I mean ALL of the waits. The wait for healing, the wait for transfer, the wait for a match from an agency, the wait for lab results, the wait for genetic testing, the wait for adoption to finalize, the wait for the doctor after you deliver a preemie, the wait for an appointment with a RE, the wait for your first ultrasound AFTER you get the BFP, the wait to hold your baby… there are MANY waits in this journey and they all seem to have an intense waiting period. There are so many things that run through our minds, so many thoughts, so many “what-ifs,” so many things that need to be figured out. How will we pay for this? How will we afford another cycle? What if we don’t pass the home study? What if we have poor egg quality? What if I don’t ovulate? What if …. (insert your question here)
Anxiety, can easily creep in during the wait and the fear it brings will take our eyes off of the one that gives us rest.
Over the past two weeks, I’ve had to do a lot of resting during the moments when I couldn’t understand, when I had no idea what to do, or when there was actually nothing that I could do. It seemed like NOTHING was going right. Hubby’s SA was cancelled, and we haven’t been able to reschedule. My prenatal vitamins I ordered were delayed during shipping so I would miss a week, we would be out of town during (possible?) ovulation, I forgot my thermometer so I don’t know when I ovulated this month honestly… but even outside of our journey. J had been getting less hours and we needed a certain income to qualify for a new apartment. We applied and were told that we initially qualified, but we never got (and still haven’t gotten) and official approval from the complex despite doing all we can do in the natural to help the process. It all started to get really overwhelming because our natural circumstances didn’t match up with what God spoke to us.
I praying one day & I said, “God. I’m tired of trying to figure all of this junk out.” (Just being transparent)
Do you know what he said? Rest is in me. [Matthew 11:28]
At first, I’m thinking .. rest? I don’t have TIME to rest, I’ve got too much to figure out. But then I realized, I’m SUPPOSED to rest. I’m not supposed to live in fear. [2 Timothy 1:7]You, Me, WE are supposed to know WHO God is and walking assuredly in faith. We’ve made ‘walking by faith” so much that it isn’t. Walking by faith isn’t talking a blind leap and hoping that God might or maybe will work it out. No!
When Peter was in the boat, and Jesus called him to come. [Matthew 12:29] Peter did not take a blind “leap of faith,” and magically walk on water. Peter fixed his eyes on Jesus, and walked. When Peter took his eyes off of Jesus and began to look at his natural circumstances he started to sink. As he looked at the wind, fear and doubt came flooding in. His fear overtook his faith. So often, we are like Peter. We take our eyes off of the one who can & start to focus on all that is going wrong.
We are to LIVE by faith and not by sight, EVERY SINGLE DAY! [2 Corinthians 5:7] It isn’t a blind leap of faith to trust God to honor his Word, because faith isn’t blind. Walking by faith is having your eyes, mind and heart so fixed on Christ that you don’t even SEE your natural circumstances, you see HIM. Who is Him? He IS God.
Do you know that God is? God is (insert Word like Father, Healer, Provider, etc) God is. He never changes, nor fails. So why do we get so caught up in trying to figure out things when we belong to the one who IS that thing.
So many times, our anxiety is because we want to figure out how, when, and by which way the miracle or blessing will manifest. We get caught up in trying to figure out how God is going to move, or when he is going to answer our prayer. We expect things to happen a certain way, and when our natural circumstances start to look nothing like our plans we start to feel that God has forgotten or isn’t answering us. But, that’s impossible! God promised to never leave or forsake us. We have to get to a place where we stop looking at “how” we think our prayer should be answered, and begin to rest in WHO is.
Now, this doesn’t mean that I’ve gotten it completely perfect. I still have to renew my mind DAILY on the Word. I have to run to his feet when I feel anxiety or fear of the future starts to creep in. I have to whip out my Bible app and remind myself of what The [living] Word says about me, did for me, handled for me and thinks about me. But daily, I am choosing to rest (confidently) in WHO God is. And because we rest in who He is, I believe that we will begin to see the manifestation of HIM AND HIS WILL in our lives. As healer, as provider, as everything He says He is. When we begin to focus on God..
- instead of what our doctor is saying
- instead of what our bodies are saying
- instead of what your diagnosis is
- instead of what your bank account is
- instead of what your test results said
- instead of what the adoption agency says
- instead of how long the waiting list is
- instead of the statistics
When we begin to focus and faithfully believe in WHO.. that’s when we will find peaceful rest in the middle of waiting.
And do you know what? It’s been SO peaceful just to rest on our Father God. It’s been such a relief to just walk in the faith that HE is GOD. He is who He says He is, and He will never change. It’s been so peaceful to tell every anxious thought that they must submit to the name of Jesus, and that every situation is already handled. It’s been two weeks of learning (even more) to surrender control and trust His plan, even when I don’t get it. In The Waiting.