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But God, I didn’t want this to be MY story.

The medical definition of infertility is as follows- “not getting pregnant despite having unprotected sex for one year.”

Well, my friends. I don’t have to state the obvious. Although, we know that God CAN preform miracles AND that his Word says that he gives the barren woman children + a happy home… that isn’t my story, YET.

This-wondering every month, dealing with horrible pain & symptoms , crazy emotions & breakdowns, dealing with insensitive + sometimes ignorant people- is the season I am in right now. & honestly, I would like for people to stop questioning my faith & prayers and be a little bit more sensitive to the fact that what I deal with is very REAL. I would not choose this for my very worst enemy. Countless times do I tell God, I just didn’t want this to be my story.

You see, I’m a planner. [I’m starting to wonder if you can be a planner & still walk by faith… My plans always seem to fall through the cracks.]

When my husband & I got married, I figured that we would wait until I was 24 to have our first child. That gave us 3 to 4 years to enjoy each other and then start building our little family. Of course, we would have purchased a home & I would be driving a nice, black-pimped out, mom-mobile. 

So imagine how I felt one year ago when God called us to move 4.5 hours away BY faith & then when we started to get rid of all of those material things we had put before him. You know, the sports car + foreign one as well. We moved into this tiny, one bedroom apartment & totally depend on God for our daily provision. But somehow, i just felt that things would all workout according to my plan and we would be able to get “back on track,” to what I had envisioned. 

This this. Infertility.

This doesn’t fit into what i envisioned. I didn’t picture me being the one having to make decisions like surgery or no surgery, vegan diet or birth control, should we adopt or wait… none of this is what I wanted.

You see, this doesn’t fit in with my little home in the suburbs vision. I wanted what I want. Children. The amazing feeling of getting those two lines, surprising my husband in some crazy way, telling our parents, then friends, praying over our unborn child every morning, designing a nursery in our home-painting the walls + picking our furniture to match, planning a baby shower that met my pintrest dreams & a all natural water birth.

Instead, I’m sitting here typing a blog for you guys.

Haha.

Not that i don’t love you, but I just had not intentions on actually being Hannah for this generation.

That just wasn’t my heart’s desire.

Obviously, God had other plans for me. I may not know what they are, but I do know that

A. They are better than mine

and

B. HE will be glorified.

I can be thankful for Hannah & when I get to heaven I can personally thank her because if it wasn’t for her struggle + story in the Bible, I would not have her story to lean into. Because God did it for Hannah, it was written in the Bible [Numbers 23:19] & I can hold on to that promise. Hannah went through something that I’m sure she felt was unfair, but she went through it and now I get to have comfort in her testimony.

So although my life looks nothing like what I planned, I’m finding comfort in knowing that God is good. He knew that I would be right here in this moment. 

So even if you can’t relate to me on this specific  struggle, maybe you didn’t plan diabetes into your life. Maybe you didn’t plan on getting pregnant as soon as you did. Maybe you didn’t plan on losing your job, maybe you just stepped out on faith, maybe you are living on your savings, maybe you thought you would have a degree right now, maybe you lost a child or parent, maybe you haven’t gotten married yet, maybe you are still working that 9-5… regardless of the plans that you had, know that the one who has the BEST plan is a number 1, best selling author. Let’s look to Jesus, [Hebrews 12:2] the author and finisher of our faith. Let’s know that even in the middle of any unexpected plot twist, God is faithful and he is Good.

Disclaimer

*Disclaimer* Products are not designed to diagnose or cure aliments. All products have been researched to reduce symptoms. Herbs are not FDA approved. Recommendations are based on information given. I am not responsible for reactions or misinformed purchases. I am not a doctor, and I am not pretending to be one. I advice through experience and research.

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Raven was amazing, she helped me with my cyst and bacteria infection. She knew EXACTLY what I needed to address... Read More...
Raye The Doula
5
2020-03-23T03:49:19+00:00
Raven was amazing, she helped me with my cyst and bacteria infection. She knew EXACTLY what I needed to address each issue. She made sure I had everything I needed. Even when I arrived at the store, I called her to make sure I had the correct items... she answered right away and clarified that I had everything. She checked on me every few days to make sure my issues was getting taking care of. I highly recommend a session with Raven for any holistic womb care, health, holistic medicine, etc. thank you Raven so much! Love you
If you’re wondering whether or not you can receive quality care from a doula even if it’s just virtually the... Read More...

Mrs. Adara Sherron

Raye The Doula
5
2016-05-03T18:05:39+00:00

Mrs. Adara Sherron

If you’re wondering whether or not you can receive quality care from a doula even if it’s just virtually the answer is yes. Raven provided vital information on what I could expect, request, decline, and more throughout my pregnancy experience. The actual doula I chose to contract here in New York where I live is everything Raven told me I should have in a doula. When had my virtual consultation with Raven, she was polite, informative, reassuring and even answered my million questions. I think a virtual consultation is key for anyone who is unsure about what doulas do and who they are—and if doulas aren’t readily available in your area having the consultation helps with your search. If you are looking for someone to help you choose the right doula service, and you’re not able to meet in person, I would highly recommend having a consultation with Raven. Simply put, she is amazing. - Mrs. Adara Sherron First time mom to a baby girl.
Raven Thomas helped me in my TTC journey by giving me knowledge on what was actually going on with my body... Read More...

Vanity Shelton

Raye The Doula
5
2016-05-03T18:07:52+00:00

Vanity Shelton

Raven Thomas helped me in my TTC journey by giving me knowledge on what was actually going on with my body and helping me understand my hormones. She educated me on hormone imbalance and the negative affects  that it  has on the body. Raven's  outstanding wisdom lead to me getting pregnant. She walked me through my pregnancy with healthy ways of eating,books and managing my emotions in a healthy way to promote a wonderful stress free pregnancy. During my Postpartum phase she answered all of my questions for breastfeeding, and how to still rest with multiple kids for recovery, any issue I had she made sure she gave me the emotional support as well as a game plan to overcome my issues I was having. I highly recommend her for all of your Doula needs and brestfeeding services. She has such a heart for women and wellness!!
Raye the doula was everything I needed this first time around breastfeeding. I’m a mom of 3, ages 3,2, and... Read More...

Larisa Cleaves

Raye The Doula
5
2016-05-03T18:24:44+00:00

Larisa Cleaves

Raye the doula was everything I needed this first time around breastfeeding. I’m a mom of 3, ages 3,2, and now a 9 week old baby boy. I didn’t get the opportunity to have such an empowering, and proactive lactation specialist with my first two. I have inverted nipples but now they both are completely pulled out. The techniques she gave and advice are exactly what I needed. Before, I started using her- in my 1st week postpartum, I got mastitis, I had a fever and more... Raye provided that’s when I was able to get some good advice and support about relieving the clogged milk ducts and gave me help positioning to make breastfeeding easier. Once you get that infection, you feel horrible, but she helped make the experience as comfortable as possible. Don’t miss out of booking her, even if you may not have any problems with breastfeeding like I did. As a postpartum mom, you always need someone in your corner to assist and be there for you. Get a team and on your team have her, Raye the doula. Larisa Cleaves, Mom of 3, Wife, Business Owner
5
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Raye The Doula